The new Cowboys & Aliens movie is, of course, based on the comic book of the same name.  What most people don’t know is that it is the second Harrison Ford movie to team up with local retards for a true 4D experience.  My 4D show was performed by an up and coming tard that looked to be between the ages of 10 and 12 - but don’t let his youth fool you, he was able to project all kinds of maniacal laughs, unintelligible comments, and repeated strings of dialogue to all corners of the movie house.

The first movie to use this marketing scheme was “What Lies Beneath,” a new age horror movie released in the summer of 2000.  The coordinators of the event wheeled three moaning performers in steel chairs to the middle of the theater.  The haunting was enhanced by live moans, shrill screams, and rattling of chains.  After the show I asked one the performers what else he has done and was delighted as he squealed, “marf! ra-ra-RAH Billy Joel DOGSHIT!”  That’s impressive.

I thought Cowboys & Aliens was a decent movie, it’s not groundbreaking but it is what you’d expect from a summer action movie.  So if you’re out to see a film based on a comic book this summer, go see it.  It’s far better than Captain America, which was written by retards.  Courageous, yes, but don’t be surprised if it gets a reboot.

Didn’t read the Cowboys & Aliens comic yet? Get it here: Cowboys and Aliens

8 August 2011 ·

• Tags
• retards
• comics
• movies
• captain america
• harrison ford
• 4D
• cowboys
• aliens